Most people would think that their soulmate would be their partner or spouse. I know my soulmate is my Grandma. This totally shocked my husband, when I said that she was the love of my life and my soulmate. I completely believe that we were supposed be in eachother's lives. When I look in her eyes, I see myself and I know she sees a younger version of herself in me. I have her wrinkles above my nose, and her chicken legs. I have her blue eyes and thin feet.
I write silly poems and like to ryhme like her. I love projecting and crafting, although she is more creative than I am. We were both sick when we were little, many times with phenmonia. It is so hard to describe her, because she is the love of my life, my mentor and friend. I even have some of her negative attributes like worrying about everything, airplanes, illnesses, safety and rules. She was called, "worrywart weir" and I am teased for my constant anxiety about everything.
But even since I was little, she was my biggest fan and gaurdian angel. When I was sick as a baby she stayed with my parents to help care for me. When I had to have knee surgery she would put holy water on a picture she had of me to help me heal quicker. I think it worked. In her bible, she still has prayers that she wrote for me and I still have birthday cards where she wrote that I was her favorite.
I miss her more that I can express. My Grandma lives in Dallas in a nursing home and has severe dementia from Parkinsons disease. She is still alive but her soul is already gone. When I look into her eyes, I see an emptiness that breaks my heart. When I get to talk to her on the phone, she gets confused. I always pause and tell her I love her. I always, hear "I love you" back and then for a split second she is her old self. I miss my "old Grandma", the one who could not say I love you enough and knew everything about me. The one who was the kindest, most loving person, who put everyone else first. I used to wish for her to get well and for her personality and mind to return, but now my prayers have changes and I just pray that she finds peace soon, because I have mourned the loss of my soulmate.
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6 comments:
What a great post! Seriously, my eyes moistened as I read it.
You have figured it out. That was touching, Heather. I think I know how you feel. I lost my parents and it’s a difficult thing, especially to watch them suffer. Your well-written post opened my mind to wonderful thoughts about life, love and family. In some ways I think we’re all soul mates, especially when someone like you articulates feelings through such inspiring words. You’re terrific.
I have always felt like I know your grandma just through the neat stories you tell me about her. I am so sorry that she isn't feeling well. I know it is hard for you and your family. That was a really touching post. You are a great granddaughter.
Heather, that was a touching post! You're a very caring person and your comments demonstrated that, once again. I took care of my grandma for 9 years before she passed away. I developed a lasting bond with her that we'll carry beyond this life. Grandmas can be special people. You and I are fortunate to have unique relationships with ours. Thanks!
You have told me so many great things and stories about your grandma but I never knew how you truly felt until just now. Thanks for writing such an amazing post.
I my goodness Heather. I LOVE your grandma. I only remember her though how she used to be. That must be so hard. I just came to Utah, but was only in SLC for like a day for a friends wedding and then was at my cabin. I am coming in July though and would LOVE to hang out.
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